


Soldering On

by MeggieJolly



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Regency, Bucky's POV, F/M, Georgian Period, Inspired by Bridgerton (TV), Inspired by Fanart, M/M, Stablehand Steve, discovering sexuality, lord bucky, some period typical sexism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29203521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeggieJolly/pseuds/MeggieJolly
Summary: Bucky Barnes had resigned himself to doing the right thing for his family. He didn't expect Steve, the new stable hand, to throw a wrench in those plans.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 14
Kudos: 63





	Soldering On

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a collaboration with [HopelessGeek](https://hopelessartgeek.tumblr.com) who made the amazing art the story is based on. 
> 
> This is the first time I did a collab like this and I have to admit I was pretty nervous at first, but it was a lot of fun and I'm happy with what I came up with. It turned out a lot longer than I expected.
> 
> A big thanks to my Beta readers RW and Smiley!

Usually Bucky would look forward to the Duke of Stark’s annual ball, Stark had good taste, or maybe staff with good taste and enough money to provide the best food, drink and entertainment at any party he gave. He also always made sure that there were enough opportunities for gentleman to get away from the eligible debutants and their mothers on the hunt for husbands. After all, until last season Stark had been the most eligible bachelor of the ton and was very much in need of escaping himself. 

Even though Stark had found his duchess in Miss Pepper Potts last year, Bucky hoped he still had sympathy for other bachelors.

The reason why Bucky was dreading the ball this year was that his mother had decided it was time for Bucky to find a wife, settle down and fulfill his duty in producing the next heir for the Barnes name.

To achieve this goal, Bucky’s mother had made a meticulous list of all the women she deemed would make a good wife for him and Bucky, as a dutiful son, had read the list and promised her he would meet the ladies and try to find a wife this season. He regretted that promise, but he would stick to it.

Out of all the marriage prospects his mother had trusted upon him, Miss Romanoff was by far the only option Bucky could actually consider. She wasn’t as naive or superficial as other debutantes of the ton. She wielded her wit and beauty like a weapon and not just to land a good match, conversation with her wasn’t a chore. 

As the somewhat mysterious ward of Lord Culoson, she probably wasn’t his mother’s favourite candidate, but she had been on the list. The mystery surrounding her was rather intriguing in Bucky’s opinion. No one knew anything about her family or even where she had come from. 

Of course, as was often the case in these situations, people had speculated that Miss Romanoff was an illegitimate child of Culson’s, but in this case there seemed to be no truth to these rumours. There was no physical likeness between the two and Culson was not a man with a reputation for rakish behaviour, not even in his youth.

He was also known for loving and respecting his wife very much and no one who knew either of them would suspect he would ever betray her.

While Miss Romanoff was very pleasant company and he regarded her as a good friend, he had a hard time imagining himself marrying her. 

She was beautiful and any man would be lucky to have her as a wife, but Bucky didn’t want to be that man. 

In truth, he didn’t want to be married to any woman. He greatly enjoyed flirting and dancing with women, but the prospect of marriage held no appeal for him. 

Of course he knew that very few marriages of the ton were done for anything but politics, business or convenience, but he had enough money and power and the fact that he would eventually need an heir was still somewhat far from his mind. Couldn’t he just enjoy the parties, the dancing and the flirting a few years longer before he made a convenient match and hopefully produced a son or two? 

If he were to ask his mother that question - not that he would be stupid enough to do so - she would strongly disagree and give him another lecture of his responsibility to the family and his country. 

Whatever his bloody country might have to do with anything, they would find some distant relative to fill their seat in parliament, if necessary. 

Besides, his father was a healthy man that would probably still live many years, there really should be no need to hurry. 

Bucky sighed and checked his pocket watch, it was almost time to get dressed for tonight's ball, but before he got ready for an evening of being pressured into marriage from all sides, he decided to check on his favourite horse. 

Soldier had seemed to favour one of his hoofs after they had returned from a ride this morning, and Bucky wanted to make sure he was well taken care of. He heard one of the maids mentioning a new stablehand, and while he trusted their staff, the new guy might not know Soldier and the stable well enough yet to notice anything amiss. 

Bucky found the new stablehand in Soldier’s box, inspecting the lame hoof. 

Before Bucky could do anything more than note the unusual broadness of the man’s back, he put the hoof down and straightened up. 

And what a sight that was, Bucky had always thought himself a rather well built man, but next to the stablehand he felt almost slender and even a little weak looking. He had rarely seen a man with such broad shoulders but such a narrow waist.

“Pardon me your lordship, I didn’t see you there.” He removed his cap and revealed unusually short, blond hair. 

Bucky was still so taken aback by the appearance of this man, that he only answered: “It’s not your lordship.”

“Pardon me?”, the man looked confused. 

“It’s my Lord or Lord Barnes. My father is the viscount, he is addressed as your Lordship. I won’t be addressed as that until I inherit.” 

“Oh, I apologise, I wasn’t aware.” 

“No matter. What is your name?”

“Steve, my Lord.” 

“Steve. I see you were inspecting Soldier’s hoof. I noticed him favouring it when I came back from my ride. Is he injured?”

“No, it was just a sharp pebble. I noticed and removed it when I cleaned his hoofs earlier. I just wanted to see if it left an injury, but there is none. He should be right as rain by tomorrow.” 

“Thank you,” Bucky stepped closer to pet Soldier’s neck. “He is my favourite, I should hate to see him injured.” 

“He is a beauty, if he makes half as good a figure under the saddle as he does in here, I can see why you favour him.”

“He is an absolute pleasure to ride, I assure you.” 

“I look forward to seeing you two work together.”

There was something in Steve’s eyes as he said that that Bucky couldn’t quite place. Something that almost made him think Steve wasn’t only talking about Soldier anymore. 

While pondering what that look meant, Bucky got almost distracted by Steve’s eyes. They had the most interesting shade. He couldn’t quite determine if they were blue or green in the dim afternoon light in the stables. What he could determine was that they fascinated him.

Before he could think on this any further, Rebecca, Bucky’s younger sister, entered the stable, clearly in search of Bucky. 

“James, are you not dressed yet? You know Mother’s opinion on punctuality. She will be very cross if you make her late to the ball.” 

Bucky sighed. “Yes, yes, I will get dressed shortly.” 

He turned to Steve. “Thank you for taking such good care of Soldier, I’m afraid I must be going.” 

With a nod to Steve and a final pat to Soldier he followed Rebecca. 

* * *

Stark's ball was rather a disappointment. It started off pleasantly with a dance with Miss. Romanoff and then the discovery that Barton, a friend of his form university was in attendance.

Barton traveled a lot and wasn't one to attend many of the ton's parties even when he was in London, but tonight he was and Bucky was looking forward to catching up with him.

The night turned into a disappointment after Bucky came back from relieving himself. Suddenly Barton was nowhere to be found and when he decided to find Miss. Romanoff instead, neither was she.

In search of other company, he discovered that Stark was dancing with his wife and seemed completely enamoured, evident by the fact that they had already shared more than three dances. While it wasn't scandalous, it was rather unusual. Then again, so were love matches, which their’s clearly was.

With none of his attending friends available, his choices for the rest of the night were hiding from his mother and getting told off for it in the morning, or allowing her to introduce him to an exhausting number of marriage prospects.

He loved his mother and hiding sounded somewhat boring, so he sighed and made his way to Lady Barnes.

His mother introduced him to a number of ladies and he had fun dancing with most of them – one particular girl stepped on his toes a total of six times during a rather short dance, he didn’t particularly enjoy that – but none of them captured his interest enough for a conversation beyond the polite pleasantries. He had a hard time showing real interest in tales of unruly cross stitch patterns. 

He knew he couldn’t blame these sheltered young women for their lack of truly interesting conversation. They were told to never discuss politics, philosophy or anything beyond polite pleasantries, but listening to those pleasantries made him miss the women he had met at university. No matter if they were actresses, scholars wives or other ladies that were allowed to pursue interests outside of what was deemed appropriate for young unmarried ladies of the ton, conversation with them was more stimulating. 

What did capture his attention were the eyes of one debutante, which seemed to have a similar color to Steve’s, if not quite as fascinating. Another one of the girls he danced with had hair, a similar shade to Steve’s, and Bucky started to wonder why he was even noticing this. He didn’t usually pay close enough attention to the servants to be reminded of them while dancing. 

Finding not as much pleasure in dancing and mingling as he usually did, he retired from the party early, much to his mother’s disappointment. 

When he got back to Barnes House and passed the stables, he considered going in and speaking to Steve for a moment, but quickly disregarded that. It was late, he shouldn’t bother him or the other servants. He didn’t know the man and had no reason to seek him out. He was simply in a strange mood today. A nice glass of his father’s good Cognac would probably set that right. 

* * *

After breakfast the next morning Bucky decided to visit Soldier again. He had been the first horse he had truly felt safe with after his accident and he couldn't bear the thought of him injured.

He was just lifting Soldier's hoof when someone cleared his throat behind him. It was Steve, the stablehand with the impressive eyes.

"Good morning Lord Barnes. You have nothing to worry about, I already looked at it earlier. There seems to be no damage, but I was just about to walk him around a little to see if he still favours his hoof. Unless of course you disagree."

Bucky set the hoof down carefully and straightened up.

"Good morning, thank you for taking such good care of him, he is rather special to me I must admit. I will walk him with you, if you don't mind."

"Of course my lord."

Steve gave him a look as if to say 'as if I was allowed to mind' and nodded. He held up the halter and Bucky stepped out of the way so Steve could put it on Soldier.

Once they were outside, Steve led Soldier in a wide circle while Bucky inspected his walk.

"I don't notice any lameness, do you?", he asked Steve.

"No, I don't either, but I will walk him a bit longer to be certain. Even if he is fine, I would advise to wait until tomorrow to ride him."

Bucky nodded, "I agree, I was planning to take the carriage to call on Miss Romanoff this afternoon anyways. I was hoping to take her out for a ride in the park."

"How nice", he didn't completely sound like he meant it. "Are you courting her?"

Bucky shouldn't be talking about this to a stablehand, the only servant a conversation like this might be appropriate with was his valet, but he felt a connection to Steve that he couldn't explain. He suspected they could be great friends, if the class difference wasn't so glaring.

"I suppose I am. My mother is pressuring me into marriage and Miss Romanoff is the only prospect I could see myself accepting."

Steve gave him an unimpressed look.

"What a romantic description. I hope the lady is aware you see her as the least horrible option."

Bucky was rather surprised Steve would dare to talk to him that way. He discovered he didn't mind it, but before answering, he led them a bit further away from the stable and possible curious ears. He did not need this gossip to spread downstairs. Oddly enough, it never crossed his mind that Steve could spread it.

"She herself said that love is for children. Both of us are aware that we are not a love match, but purely one of convenience."

"I wish the two of you good luck then."

There was something off about his voice, but Bucky wasn't sure what.

Bucky noticed they had wandered quite far away from the stables during their conversation and it was probably time to return.

"It doesn't seem as if Soldier's lameness is coming back, don't you think?"

Steve inspected Soldier's walk and nodded. "I agree, we can probably return."

He gave Bucky a bit of a sheepish look as he turned Soldier around.

"Do you mind me asking why he is so special to you? I haven't met many noblemen who would care quite so much about a horse as to visit the stables so frequently or walk with it because of such a minor injury."

Bucky felt a little uncomfortable at the question and hoped Steve wouldn't notice. If he was honest, Soldier wasn't the sole reason why he did these things.

"I had an accident a few years back where my horse fell badly and I injured my left arm quite severely. The poor horse was dead almost instantly, which was a mercy, but it took some time for me to be found. He swallowed remembering that torturous time. 

"I struggled with riding after I recovered, mostly because my arm never healed quite right." He didn't want to think about the vivid images of his fall that had followed him the first few times he had sat on a horse after the accident.

"Soldier was the horse that helped me to overcome those struggles and for that he will always be my favourite." 

Soldier nudged his shoulder with his nose, as if he had understood every word and Bucky scratched between his ears with a smile.

"I am so sorry to hear that", Steve's voice was full of sympathy. "Does your arm still give you trouble?"

"It is rather stiff and sometimes painful. I don't have as much fine motor control as I used to, but I have found ways around that. It doesn't bother me most of the time." The scars were rather unseemly, but no one but his valet, a maid or two and some of his boxing buddies had ever seen them.

They arrived back at the stables before Steve could ask any more questions and Bucky’s pocket watch revealed that it was time for him to take his leave. 

He had a strange hesitation about leaving Steve's company and realised that he once again had shared things with him that he rarely even talked about with his closest friends. 

He cleared his throat. "I'd better go, thank you again for taking such good care of Soldier. I will talk to the stable master to arrange for some special compensation for your trouble."

"It is no trouble at all, my lord. It is my job to take care of the horses."

"Nonsense, I will talk to the state master. Good day Steve."

"Thank you, my lord. Good day, my lord", it almost sounded as if Steve sighed as he said his good-bye.

Bucky gave him a nod and Soldier one last pet and then Steve led Soldier back into the stable and Bucky had no choice but to leave and take care of his business of the day.

  
  


Around tea time Bucky took the carriage to Bus House to visit Miss Romanoff. 

Lord Culson’s wife, who everyone called Lady May even though that had been her maiden name, was with Miss Romanoff in the sitting room when Bucky was brought in by the butler. 

After all the polite greetings and hand kissing and after Bucky had handed Miss Romanoff the flowers he had brought her, the three of them sat down for tea. 

Neither Lady May nor Miss Romanoff were very typical members of the ton, which made the conversation at tea more varied than Bucky was used to in the company of two women.

Lady May told them about a time when she had ended up in a boxing ring, for a reason she did not explain, and ended up winning against multiple men who were completely flabbergasted.

Bucky couldn't blame them, Lady May was slender and not very tall and one did not expect ladies to know how to box.

Miss Romanoff on the other hand seemed completely unimpressed about such a feat. Maybe she had heard the story before or simply didn't believe it.

Whether or not the story was true, it was very amusing and certainly made for better entertainment than some mama going on and on about how skilled her daughter was at watercolours, cross stitching or the piano forte.

Tea passed rather quickly and when Bucky asked if he could take Miss Romanoff on a drive through the park, both ladies agreed and Miss Romanoff left to get changed and to ring for her maid to accompany them.

Lady May stayed with Bucky and watched him with such focus that he felt as if she was looking inside his mind.

"You are not courting Natasha for romantic reasons."

It wasn't a question, but she obviously expected an answer. Bucky didn't think it would be wise to lie.

"No, I am afraid I am not."

Lady May nodded, with no emotion showing on her face.

"Why are you courting her?"

Bucky swallowed, her unwavering eyes and calmness making him a little nervous.

"I am my father's heir and only son, it is my duty. I very much like Miss Romanoff and think the feeling is mutual. We are friends, I think we could build a good marriage on that."

Lady May nodded again. "A sensible answer. Be sure to be honest with her and tell her what you told me. She is smarter and more mature than most girls her age, but no one is immune to heartbreak."

Bucky found it very hard to imagine Miss Romanoff being heartbroken, but he didn't argue. They had been honest about their expectations for this courtship from the beginning and he was not changing that now.

"She knows how I feel."

"Good, then I will take my leave. Good Day Lord Barnes."

"Good day, Lady May, thank you for the tea and your hospitality."

He didn't have to wait long after Lady May left him. Miss Romanoff came back and he escorted her to his carriage.

The weather was perfect for a carriage ride, not too hot but pleasantly warm and with only a few fluffy withe clouds in the sky. As a result the Park was somewhat crowded, but the open carriage gave enough privacy for some conversation.

“Did you go home early last night? I looked for you but couldn’t find you.” 

Natasha looked more uncomfortable at that question than Bucky had ever seen her, but only for a moment and then her face was back to a pleasant expression.

“Oh, I apologize for not bidding you farewell, Cl…”, she cleared her throat. “Mr. Barton and I met a mutual acquaintance and went into the gardens to catch up.”

Bucky suppressed a frown, he hadn’t known that Barton and Miss Romanoff knew each other well enough to have mutual acquaintances or to apparently use each other’s given names. 

He also wondered who this acquaintance was, it couldn’t have been a man because Miss Romanoff would have risked her reputation if she went into a garden with two men. The only possibility was that it had been a married woman, preferably a relation of either of them. 

He knew it was not his business, but he was intrigued, maybe he would ask Barton about it when they met next. 

“Of course, I hope you had a pleasant evening.” He couldn’t ask her any more and stay polite. 

Miss Romanoff nodded, she seemed almost relieved he had dropped the subject.

“It was, thank you. I hope your evening was pleasant as well."

"I've had better evenings, to be frank. My mother decided to play matchmaker again."

Bucky figured this was as good a moment as any to bring up a possible marriage between them.

"If you don't mind me being so forward, this is part of the reason why I called on you today. My mother wants me to find a wife as soon as possible, but, well you know my views on marriage and most of the eligible choices this season, but I also know you share those views...", he cleared his throat, this was really rather awkward, "which is why, I would like to ask your permission to propose to you in the near future, Miss Romanoff."

His question was unorthodox, he could have probably proposed to her right then, but he saw no need to hasten things too much.

Miss Romanoff didn't look surprised, in fact her face didn't give her emotions away at all.

"Of course, but I would rather think that you can call me Natasha if we are to be married, James."

Apparently that was all the answer he was going to get.

Bucky inclined his head. "It would be my pleasure, Natasha."

She smiled.

"Wonderful, now do you have the time?"

Bucky pulled out his pocket watch, a little surprised, but also relieved that she seemed to already have moved on from the subject of marriage. "It is just past five thirty."

"Let us return then, but if you would be so kind as to take me to Barnes House first, your sister wanted to borrow a book of mine and I would like to give it to her in person."

"You have it with you?"

"Yes, I saw an opportunity when you invited me to take a drive. If you hadn't called, I would have come by myself."

"Of course, I'm sure Rebecca will be most grateful."

When they arrived at Barnes House, Steve was there to take care of the carriage. He gave Bucky and Natasha a strange look that Bucky couldn't place.

Bucky helped Natasha down from the carriage and offered her his arm to take her inside. He could still feel Steve looking at him in a way that made his skin crawl. Oddly enough it wasn't exactly an unpleasant sensation, but it did make him nervous.

Before he took Natasha inside, he looked at Steve one more time. Steve was leaning against the carriage, still looking at Bucky. Bucky tried a smile, but it wouldn't quite form correctly, so he gave Steve a nod instead and left. He was both relieved and disappointed to escape Steve's gaze.

"Who was that?", Natasha asked once they were out of earshot.

"A new stablehand, Steve. He took very good care of Soldier when he got a small injury, so we got to talking."

Natasha gave him an inexplicable knowing look. What was it today with people giving him looks that he couldn't interpret?

* * *

Later, after he had escorted Natasha home, he decided to go to his club. The chances of impossible to interpret looks seemed to be smaller there and he hadn't been in a while. It would be nice to get away from responsibilities and confusing stablehands.

At the club he met Barton and the two of them sat down together for a drink.

"I didn't know you and Miss Romanoff were acquainted."

"Natasha? We have known each other for quite some time, I was the one who introduced her to Culson and May." Clint took a sip of his drink. "But why do you say that?"

Bucky was rather taken aback by this bit of information.

"She told me you two met a mutual acquaintance at Stark's ball."

"You saw her today?"

"Yes, I called on her for tea and then took her on a drive." He might as well tell Barton, everyone would know soon anyways. "I am courting her, my mother is pressuring me to get married."

Barton choked on his drink, which surprised Bucky, he hadn't said anything too shocking, had he? Maybe Barton saw her as a sort of younger sister and felt protective?

"You want to marry Natasha? Because your mother wants you to? Is your father not in good health? I noticed he didn’t attend the ball last night."

“No, my father is perfectly healthy. He is just visiting a relative in Scotland and taking care of some business there. My mother just wants me to find a wife, I think Natasha is the best option.”

“Does Natsaha know your reasons?”

“Yes, Natasha knows that I asked her because I have to fulfil my responsibilities as my father's heir. Lady May knows as well."

Clint sank back in his chair with a sigh. "Oh I can imagine what May and Nat said to that."

"You call her Nat?" Come to think of it, it was strange that he had said May instead of Lady May as well.

Clint just nodded, but didn't answer. Something was clearly amiss and Bucky had no idea what.

"Do you disapprove of me wanting to marry her?"

Barton actually looked like he needed to think about it for a minute, which Bucky found a little offensive.

"No, I suppose not. Maybe I had just hoped she would marry for love, even though she has said multiple times she doesn't believe in it."

"Yes, love is for children. She has said that to me too."

"It is not though, and I always hoped she would learn that some day." He sighed and there was something in his eyes that made Bucky suspect what might be the problem. "Well, at least I know you will treat her well and won't try to control every aspect of her life."

And suddenly it hit Bucky.

"You love her."

It wasn't even a question, just a statement that had suddenly formed in Bucky's mind.

Clint didn't look at him, he just nodded again, with a sad look in his eyes.

"Excuse my question, but if you love her, why aren't you courting her? Did she reject you?"

"I can't marry her, or anyone for that matter, but I would marry her in a heartbeat if I could."

"Why can't you marry her?" Bucky couldn't think of any logical reason.

Clint let out a dry, humourless laugh. "Because I am already married."

"Pardon me?" That was more than a surprising revelation. He had known Barton since they had been at university together. Granted, they hadn't had much contact for a few years after Barton had left, earlier than Bucky, but he would have thought Barton would have told him if he got married.

"We met on my travels and got married on a bit of a whim, I suppose. Her name is Bobbi and I really thought she was it for me, but I'm afraid we didn't last very long before we decided to separate." He took another sip off his drink before he continued. "She lives in the country somewhere by the coast now, with a soldier I think, Hunter or something. We exchange letters from time to time."

The surprises just kept coming and Bucky wasn't quite sure how to react to any of it.

"You don't mind that she took a lover and lives with him?"

"Why would I mind? It's not like I have been celibate since we separated. We have tried to get our marriage annulled, but neither of us is off high enough standing or rich enough to get such an exception, so we make do. I always thought someday I would find a similar arrangement as Bobbi did, but I could never do that to a proper young lady like Natasha. No matter how much we both might want it."

"Natasha shares your feelings?"

Barton shrugged. "She hasn't admitted it to me or herself, but yes, I think she does. She has said she would leave London with me and ignore the societal rules, but I don't want a live in scandal for her or her future children." He looked at Bucky. "Please don't let this change your plans to marry her. I would never want to ruin that for her."

Bucky had to admit that he was taken aback by the idea of marrying a woman who seemed to love another man. He was aware that it was illogical to feel that way, considering he didn't love her and didn't expect that to change in the future, but he couldn't quite rid himself of the thought.

He took a long drink to buy some time.

"You...," he cleared his throat,"you have certainly given me a lot to think about."

Barton said up straighter and looked at him with an intensity that made Bucky sit up straighter as well.

"Have you never had thoughts or feelings that you shouldn't have, for someone you know society would always see as inappropriate?"

Bucky was just about to answer with a certain 'no', when Steve's face appeared in his mind, quickly followed by more images of him walking with Soldier, bending down to look at his hoof and smiling at Bucky with those fascinating eyes and suddenly Bucky couldn't answer Barton anymore.

Barton must have seen some of his thoughts on his face, because he smirked. "See? I knew you had someone as well. Do you want to tell me about her?"

Bucky felt his face grow hot when Barton said 'her'. He hadn't blushed since his school days, this was embarrassing and he was rather glad that they were alone in one of the private smoking rooms of the club.

"I...we..." Bucky cleared his throat again, he wasn't sure how to put it in words, but after everything that Clint had shared with him, he felt like telling him about Steve would be right. "We... uhm, got a new stable hand." He couldn't look at Clint. "He... he took very good care of Soldier."

"I see," Clint smiled, "well, that explains quite a bit, doesn't it? You were never as interested in women as the others, even back in university."

"I danced with more women than any of you.", Bucky was glad Clint didn't have a bad reaction to his implied confession, but he had expected a bit of surprise on Clint's part.

Clint laughed, "Yes, that you did, but you rarely kissed any of them or took them home, did you? You only danced and flirted."

Well, Bucky hadn't  _ only _ danced and flirted, but he supposed Clint was right. Doing more than dancing and flirting had been the exception, not the rule in contrast to his friends.

He had never even thought, though... that men, that men could hold more interest for him.

Clint refilled Bucky's drink from the decanter on a side table and handed it to him, maybe sensing his discomfort and confusion.

"Does he feel the same?"

Now it was Bucky's turn to laugh dry and humourless. "We have spoken twice. How would I know anything about what he feels? I don't even know what I feel,  _ if  _ I feel anything."

"You should have clarity on that, before you marry anyone."

Bucky supposed that was right. If he was someone who preferred other men, he would always have to hide that from everyone, but he shouldn't hide it from his future wife, and he didn't want to have to hide it. He could only marry someone he trusted with that secret. 

No matter what, he needed a wife and an heir sooner or later. There were enough couples in the ton who were married but clearly in love with other people outside their marriage and quite happy with it, but the key to happiness in such an arrangement seemed to be honesty.

Maybe Natasha could be that person for him. He could see himself trusting her enough to tell her such a secret. And if that would give her the opportunity to explore her connection to Clint, he wouldn’t mind. 

He shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. There had been enough scandalous talk for one evening, what he needed now was distraction, not fictitious plans for the future that might never come to pass.

"You are right, but for now, let us have some more drinks and maybe play a round of cards."

Clint agreed and not long after they started, Stark joined them. Playing cards and drinking with Stark was often dangerous for both the liver and the purse but always a lot of fun.

* * *

It was quite late when Bucky finally made it home, and while he was not quite drunk anymore thanks to the cool night air, he was still inebriated enough to think it a good idea to go into the stables when he saw a light in there.

He was probably lucky that it was actually Steve who was still up and not one of the other servants in the stables, or maybe unlucky, he really couldn't be sure right now.

"Lord Barnes? What are you doing here so late?"

"Bucky."

Bucky couldn't see him very well but he was pretty sure Steve frowned. "Bucky? Is that one of the horses? I wasn't aware of a horse with that name here."

"No, you can call me Bucky. Not Lord Barnes."

"Why would I call you Bucky? Isn't your name James?"

Steve led him over to a little chamber that had a stove lit for warmth.

"Bucky is a nickname, from Buchanan, my middle name. We had too many boys named James back at school. The name stuck and Bucky always felt more like me than James anyways."

Steve looked sceptical. "I can't call you Bucky."

Bucky shrugged. "Not in front of others, but I doubt the horses mind."

Steve chuckled at that and Bucky realised he really liked that sound.

"Okay, Bucky. It suits you I think. What are you doing here so late Bucky?"

A shiver ran down Bucky's neck when Steve called him Bucky. It was strangely intimate and he enjoyed it. He never wanted Steve to call him Lord Barnes again.

"I...," suddenly the bravery instilled in him by the alcohol seemed to have disappeared. "I… wanted to check on Soldier," he lied.

Steve raised an eyebrow, "In the middle of the night? How do you expect to see if his hoof is bothering him in the darkness?"

Bucky sighed and felt his face heat up again. Really, blushing again? What was he, twelve?

"Maybe... maybe I'm not here for Soldier."

"Yes, I gathered."

Steve looked at him expectantly and Bucky had no idea what to do. For a second he thought Steve was looking at his lips and even though he was sure that it was his imagination, suddenly his eyes were drawn to Steve's lips instead.

"I... I should probably go." He turned around, but before he could leave and curse himself until he fell asleep, Steve grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"No."

"No?" Steve was a servant, he wasn't supposed to order Bucky around, but Bucky turned back to him anyways.

Steve didn't say anything, but looked at him in an intense and confusing, but also strangely exciting way.

Why was this so hard? Flirting with women and even seducing them was easy for Bucky, but he had no idea how to proceed here.

He looked back at Steve and his eyes once again dropped to his lips, just for a moment.

But Steve must have seen, because he mumbled something that sounded like 'damn it all to hell' and then, Steve's lips were on his and Bucky knew why he had never been too eager to kiss the women he danced with.

Some part of him must have known, because kissing them was nothing compared to kissing Steve.

When they separated, Bucky felt a little dazed but it had nothing to do with the alcohol any longer and everything to do with Steve. He didn’t mind that one bit.

Steve looked at him with a smile. “This will be complicated, won’t it?”

Bucky smiled back. “Yes, but we will find a way.” 

Steve’s smile grew wider and he leaned in for another kiss. 

Bucky left the stables, much later, his mind reeling from all that had happened that day. His world had been completely turned on its head. It felt as if he was a completely different person from the one who had woken up this morning. 

Learning about Clint’s wife and becoming practically engaged would have been enough excitement for one day, but the realization that there could be an entirely different life ahead of him than the one he had expected to live was something else entirely. 

Suddenly the idea of marrying Natasha so he could be with Steve and she could be with Clint didn’t seem so far fetched anymore. Nothing had seemed impossible when Steve kissed him. 

It was so late now that the servants were already up and preparing for the day, but Bucky managed to sneak back into his room without anyone noticing. He fell asleep almost instantly with a smile on his lips and high hopes for the future. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://meggie-jolly.tumblr.com) and you can find more of HopelessGeek's amazing work [here](https://hopelessartgeek.tumblr.com).
> 
> I don't mind receiving constructive criticism, there is always room for improvement.


End file.
